Talk:Nintendo; 666 millionth/@comment-11079349-20131125051317
alright ... this is bad. I can't honestly look past the, to put it bluntly, horrible cliches in this. the number 666 was a bad enough start as it was, but just everything from the nostalgia, to the flat levels, to the lack of enemies on said flat level were used in the worst ways. sure, a flat level can be used right, but not like this. I'm going to go into my list, like i do everywhere i go, and list the problems and successes. 1. first thing's first, why was the friend even mentioned? it didnt matter in the slightest that he even existed. i guess it adds a slight feeling of depth to the story, but all in all, it just seems like a plot point that didnt get used. 2. file on a new copy? alright, it's a new idea, but you used it horribly, to put it simply. not to be rude but why the hell was it called "SOLD!"? you seem to have forgotten where you were going with that. 3. odd cutscenes didnt tip the player off? sorry, but i smell a moron in the room. Now, I know from experience that sometimes nintendo plays something off as better than it ends up being, but that was horribly wrong. 4. dying in the first level randomly, or dying randomly at all, has been used so many times in ways that just hurt to read. this, I'm sorry to say, was one of those times. 5. restarting on a completely flat level? yeah, been there, done that. you don't seem to understand how many times that gets used. a better way to do it was you died and you didnt have the option to enter the level. when you were about to leave and give up, a new path opened to an area off of the map or something like that. then it's more believable. 6. "I saw peach." And I saw santa claus. I'm sorry, but when you just make peach appear and then the game kills itself, it doesnt add a sense of what's going on. did you just have a faulty game, or a faulty idea of what you wanted this story to be. (meant to be a couple jokes and no offense was meant by the jokes.) 7. oh, the game turned off and then restarted the moment the protagonist turned the console back on. ... woo 8. oh my, the save file deleted. I've never seen that before. *looks at Ben Drowned* 9. oh look, the protagonist started playing the used file on the game. never seen that before either. *looks at Ben drowned again* 10. mario was looking at the screen angrily. well I would too. i mean, the player was obviously ignorant to the absolute confusion that was happening. 11. the speakers began blasting and you couldnt shut them off. then grab a gun and shoot the faulty pieces of junk. 12. Mario started screaming? why? 13. You don't believe in the devil? Why the hell not? (no pun intended.) seriously, this was, figuratively, smashing our faces in with a sledgehammer that had pentagrams carved into the head and "Hail Shayton" written on the shaft. did you even read the "what not to do in a creepypasta" page? 14. Yeah, 666 million sales in less than a week is not reality, no matter how large the company is. I'm sorry, but it's true. and i know you tried, but you literally said "a couple days later" in the beginning. so, in all, this is a case of "oops, i failed to proofread." It can be fixed and it can be better. My list isnt to be a jerk, it's to point out several flaws that i know for a fact Kefke would point out. only difference between me and Kefke is that I'm nicer about it, so think what Kefke might say. now, in rating this, I'd give it a 2/10 for failure to proofread, but a 4/10 for the concept of what you were attempting. just ... try to do better. "... text box when and i preceded ..." when what? don't you mean proceeded?